Okay, okay… I love musicals. ^^ Hence the King and I title :P. This is going to be a general about me kind of post. So, lay back, relax, and grab a bowl of popcorn (HYPOTHETICAL OF COURSE!!).  

This past year

Well I'll start with the basics I guess. My name is Kayla. I'm 21 years old. I'm married to the most amazing guy ever.. sometimes.. JK i love you babe ;). We have two amazing young boys ages 3 and 22 months. I couldn't live without any one of them. My husband was active duty in the Marine Corps. He was an infantry  rifleman and a bomb dog handler. I could not be any prouder of him. He got out of the military when his contract was up last year after 4 years of service. Now he realizes that it was the greatest mistake of his life! When he got out we lost our house, our car, all of our savings, and eventually all of our possessions. In the past year we have been homeless in three different states. We have faced trials and tragedy over and over again. We've lost people dear to us and now after everything we've been through, we're living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with my mother while my husband makes minimum wage at a grocery store. We went from having it all to having nothing! By the way when I say we had it all I mean we had more blessings then I could count. A house, a car, day care for the kids, my husbands job, insurance, I was in school, and so much more. We still had our struggles but for the first time in my life I was truly happy. Now I feel absolutely hopeless! 
Well, there is a light at the end of a very long, dark, and dreary tunnel. After trying and trying his hardest to get back in the military it looks like we might finally be getting there. Almost the second he got out he realized he needed to get back in. He has tried EVERY branch, active and reserves, any job available. Every time we get so close through the process and at the very end we get told of a problem. He is what everyone is looking for; young, fit, healthy, smart, and never been in trouble. He has a spotless record with the Marine Corp but for some reason we always run into problems.  FINALY it looks like he might actually get in this time. The Marine Corps Reserves as a combat engineer. Its not ideal because its not active but its defiantly a start. We should know more at the end of the month. Okay so now that I've bored you with all this military and homeless talk, i'll move on. 
So currently I am a stay at home mom and my oldest son goes to head-start 3 days a week. I basically sit on my ass all day long. I have no friends and no idea how to go out and make any sense I am in a new place and don't know anybody!   :(  

What's wrong with me?!

I have had chronic migraines sense I was a kid. Chronic back pain and back injures that have made it worse. Chronic pain and chronic fatigue sense i was around 17. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 19. I was diagnosed with iron deficiency anemia when I was a kid as well. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression and chronic generalized anxiety disorder. I know.. what don't I have, right? Also my mom is insane. She has Borderline Personality Disorder as well as other things and you never know when she's going to loose it. I can not wait to be out of this house and away from her!

My Eating Disorder and me

I have never been officially diagnosed but I consider myself to have EDNOS (Eating Disorder not Otherwise Specified). I have a love/hate relationship with food. I want nothing more than to bing when I'm restricting or fasting and then as soon as I eat I feel even worse than I did before. Its an endless cycle. For a long time I was able to restrict and keep it that way without many problems but lately all I can think about doing is just binging binging binging! I have had the eating disorder mentality sense I was a preschooler but it hasn't drastically effected my eating directly until about 10 months ago when I started severely restricting my calories. Ive never been severely overweight but I miss being the skinniest one like I was when I was a kid. Ive tried purging and I hate it! I do it now on occasion but only when I binge and it is very rare that i will purge and be successful. My goal right now is to be 90 lb. Currently I am 145 lb. 
Well I guess that's it for now. I will be back with undoubtedly more boring ranting ;)
Age: 21 Height: 5'7"
HW:  195lb. 86kg. BMI: 29.8 (While pregnant)😶
HW:  173lb. 76kg. BMI: 27.1 (Just me)😡
LW:   126lb. 57kg. BMI: 19.7😔
SW:   170lb. 75kg. BMI: 26.6😤
CW:   146lb. 66kg. BMI: 22.9😒

√GW1: 160lb. 73kg. BMI: 25.1😩
√GW2: 150lb. 68kg. BMI: 23.5😠
  GW3: 140lb. 64kg. BMI: 21.9😥
  GW4: 130lb. 59kg. BMI: 20.4😕
  GW5: 120lb. 54kg. BMI: 18.8😏
  GW6: 110lb. 50kg. BMI: 17.2😌
  GW7: 100lb. 45kg. BMI: 15.7😊
  UGW: 95lb.  43kg. BMI: 14.9😄

*DGW: 90lb. 41kg. BMI: 14.1😍*


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    Hi, my name is Kayla. I'm married to the most amazing guy ever and we have two young boys. He is in the Marine Corps and I am trying to finish my degree. I love ballet, any dance really, but especially ballet. I like all performing arts! A hobby of mine is photography and I like arts and crafts.  I am diagnosed with Chronic Depression and Chronic Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I also consider myself to have EDNOS but I've never had an official diagnoses. There is so much about me I have yet to discover and I would love for you to be there with me while i make new discoveries!


    November 2013